High paying startup job?

Sometimes, I would like to leave the confines of the bureaucracy of a large company and join a small startup.  The opportunity of building something from the ground up is very alluring.  So is the simplicity of thinking about ideas and putting them in to practice quickly without a tonne of red tape to wade through.  The amount of work required to get anything approved and done is very onerous in a big company.  Any small change to one person affects hundreds, and possibly thousands more, making it quite the job to make tweaks, let alone big changes.

The other frustration I am having in a big company right now is to find the right person who has the data I need.   In a small company, if I don’t have the information and don’t know who has it, it is very easy to find out and I can almost assume that it just doesn’t exist.  In a big company, I assume just the opposite.  It probably exists, but I have the find the right person amongst thousands of employees spread across many geographical areas.  I seem to remember some forum where I could ask, but can’t find the link!  ARGH!!  Frustrating!

I wonder if I could find a job that pays about the same, but with a much smaller enterprise…  Hmmmm…  Then again, I would not have all the learning opportunities I do now, which is simply amazing.  Also, I work from home most of the time, which is worth a lot more than just the cost of parking, coffee and lunch…

Stay interested and interesting!

John

Honesty

Honestly, I like to think of myself as honest.  I like to believe that I tell it like it is in a diplomatic way.  Being honest doesn’t mean you’ re an ass, it means you are truthful and open.  That being said, I know I have my flaws with honesty.

There are certain situations when politics comes in to play and we need to back up the team, tow the line or simply play the game.  Where it counts are with the people we respect and love.  These are our true friends and family.  They deserve every ounce of honesty we can give them.  We have to keep their feelings in mind, but, in the grand scheme, lying is worse than sparing someone’s feelings.  I would rather someone tell me the truth and it hurt than to be lied to.  How will I ever make myself better if I don’t know or refuse to accept it.  Sometimes, it will not be easy.  Sometimes, we need a swift kick in the ass to understand and get going.  I apprecite the kick, though most times it hurts.

Also, we need to figure out who are friends are and defend them honestly.  We have to back them up wholeheartedly.  I am guilty of not always doing this, but I want to change.  I am trying to change.  But, again, it is hard and painful.  I needed a swift kick in the ass, and, last week, I got it.  I am appreciative because now I realize that I was not avoiding pain and making things easier.  I was making it all worse.  I was letting it stew.  No more.  I am going to try harder.  So should you.

Stay interested and interesting.

John

PS: If you can get your hands on full seasons of Entourage (HBO), watch them!  There are some great messages in there and it is a great show.

Confused

ARHG!  I am getting mixed signals from my ex.  What do I do?  Throughout our breakup, we have been very amicable.  There have been no big fights, we have put our daughter first and I even thought we were going to get back together.  For the last three years, we have traveled south.  I asked her a while ago if she wanted to go again.  I saw this as a possible opportunity to get away from the everyday stress of life and have some time together to either reconnect or sort things out.  Then, a few weeks ago, she tells me that she does not want to travel with me this year.  She says it would be “weird”.  While I understand that it could make it more painful if it doesn’t work out and we could possibly end up with a crappy vacation, I guess I don’t think that it is that risky and that, at worst, we can have a good time as friends.  After all, neither of us really has any other friends to travel with.  We had been together for fourteen years after all…  So, am I right to interpret her not wanting to travel with me as a sign that she does not want to be with me?  I am confused.

At the same time she told me that she did not want to travel with me, she asked if we should see other people.  Clearly, she does not want to make this decision and wants me to.  I said that I don’t know, but I was not ready to date other people yet, which I am not.  Since then, she has invited me to dinner at her place on a Saturday because I helped her shovel out a dryer vent that was full of snow (bad news for the dryer and damp clothes, yuck!).  I saw this as either her being nice and trying to repay my kindness, or an attempt to reach out.  Then, this week, I applied for a contest at a radio station to go on a Valentine’s evening date with one of the people on the morning show, which includes some shopping spree type prize (not sure what it is), and I was picked as a finalist.  Of course, they said my name on the radio and her sister heard it.  Her sister called her and she immediately called me asking about it.  I told her the truth, that the station had just called me about half an hour before and let me know.  I had not been listening to the radio this morning because I was at an app0intment.  So now, she seems very hostile about it, but when I ask her what is wrong, she says nothing.  Obviously, she is jealous and hurt.  I can understand that, but at the same time I am upset because I am the one that keeps asking what she wants and she is the one saying she doesn’t know all the time.  All I ever wanted her to say is that she wanted to be with me.  She has not been able to say that despite multiple opportunities.

I know I have my faults and am not always the easiest person to be with, but I am getting mixed signals and don’t know what to do.  Do I give her another chance, tell her that I want to be with her and if she does not respond in kind, then just make sure she knows it is over?  Should I cut the cord completely and suggest we see other people?  We have been separated for almost a year now.  I feel it is time to reconcile completely or move on.  I honestly don’t want to hurt her, but also want to be happy and having someone to share your happiness with is important.

Thoughts?  It is certainly a conundrum that emotions doesn’t help with.

Stay interested and interesting!

John

Blogging

I would love to do this more and always have a lot of ideas.  My issue is actually being disciplined enough to sit down and write.  I have been reading a lot lately and I guess I just have not put a priority here.  I have also been travelling for work more lately, so something has to give.  Also, I don’t do this from my work computer or when I am on the road.  Maybe I should, just for cathardic reasons… 

How about books?!  The last book I read, Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore, was a great discovery.  It is a funny love story about vampires.  Hmmm…  Have a look at the Amazon review here.

Stay interested and interesting!

John